believe me boy im so tired of running

If falling for you boy is crazy, then i'm going out of my, so hold back your tears this time.

....

It never really hit me..
how i've never had somebody
someone to would give up everything for me
to cuddle with till four am
to be there to kiss my forehead as the sun rises
someone to call me own..
just to have someone to hold my hand for no reason
and to hug me like they will never let go.

just to wake up in the morning,
and to know im the love of his life..

been questioned and broken..

Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not too late to start again...
A writer himself - throwing words on papers probably strung from the ceiling to the floor below filled with words held close to his heart. I've yet to encounter someone with the brilliance this man has shown to the world. A heart breaking work...

I find his words constantly repeating over and over through my mind - coming to the conclusion that perhaps his words were meant to be as condensed and as complicated as they seem while they flow through my thoughts.This boy tends to always glow, always be the center of attention, always stand out in a crowd, and always having the last laugh. For most his name was lost in space, but for others his future in fame had already been engraved in stone a few years previous.West to east and north to south, Canada slowly heard the one name that my heart will never forget. Each week he never failed to make us proud and to bring a smile to my face. Week after week with our phones to our ears, we pulled him through.His last night was clear that we did the right thing, we made him proud; he wanted us to want him and he got what he wished for. Where would he be now if his name became world known?

In a way the thought still sends chills up my spine, but I push it away as much as I can.This young man is one of the strongest and most hard-willed people I've ever met. Many don't understand him and unfortunately, many never will. It's damn near impossible to bring him down, you won't ever break him down.He's been through what seems like hell but has never let it show through his amazing eyes and permanently glowing smile. He writes words of a genius, and has a heart of gold, a killer smile, and a genuine soul. He's got wits and most definitely has the looks, but no one on earth can ever be fairly compared to the man.Each time I look at him my heart starts to jump, with a different sort of admiration. One hug perhaps could have lasted hours if possible, as the images of the past four years flew through my than overwhelmed mind. As he let go and smiled at me, I quickly erased my tears as he thanked me for coming and cracked a joke. I than turned and whispered to someone beside me... "He is far from that boy we saw on TV, eh?" and with that he looked up and grinned as if he was saying “Thank You”.I do know what I said is true, but whatever happens no matter how much he changes, his name will forever be engraved in my prouder then ever, gleaming heart. He never fails to make me smile, or make me laugh. He never lets us down, he never will understand how much he means to some... but perhaps someday he shall?" I dream of arose, born of more thorns than beauty..."

Find a way to smile and never let it get away

The sun hit my eyes with a sudden burst of light.
Pulling me from what felt like a lifelong sleep
Within seconds the excitement of what would follow hours later, hit me like a ton of bricks.

With nothing but a long and winding road surrounded by trees
the sun peaking its eyes out from behind the large, beautiful mountains
We drove through was looked like a scene taken from a childeren's story book.

It felt like the longest hour of my life.

The cold, metal barrier standing in front of us came as a relief,
as myself and others wiped the beads of sweat from our forheads.

My heart skipped several beats, as my knees became weak
One simple simle and a few stray words
became something unforgettable.

The vibrations came through the speakers rattling the earth around.
The man on the microphone brought thousands to bone rattling screams
As a voice of an angel began to sing.
His simple little turns didn't faze me,
but his simple little words still amaze me.

Tears streamed down my hot, wet cheeks
i was wrapped in his embrace.
The past 4 years seemed to tie all into this one day
Increadible what a handful of hugs can do to someone .
Incredible what impact four troublemakes can have on someone.

Holding the chain around my neck
his gift still gently hangs
the tears have transformed to smiles,
that day a unforgettable experience.

"Cross your fingers and toes" because ..
I know if we try we can climb this mountain.

- 4 months have passed and the memories stay the same..

Don't settle for the cold and rain it's not to late to start again...

....

There's no need for words
just a smile and a kiss
and we'll find ourselves amongst irresistable bliss

You're more then just a dance hall drug
I can't wait to fall in love

We;re more obvious then the wind in our hair
on a brisk fall evening
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing
Those eyes saying something more then your heart desires..

Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not to late to start again...

A writer himself, throwing words on papers probaly strung from the ceiling to the floor blow. I've yet to encounter someone with the brilliance this man has shown to the world. A heart breaking work...
I find myself constantly repeating his words over and over through my mind, coming to the conclusion that perhaps his words, were meant to be as condensed and as compicated as they seem while they flow through my thoughts.
This boy tends to always glow, always be the center of attention, always standing out in a crowd, always having the last laugh. For most, his name never came across their minds, nor did they ever hear it mentioned, but for others his future in fame, had already been written in stone a few years previously.
West to east, and east to west, Canada slowly heard the one name I'll never forget. Each week he never failed to make us proud, and to bring a smile to my face. Week after week, with our phones to our ears, we pulled him through.
His last night was clear, that we did the right thing, we made him proud. He wanted us to want him and he got what he wished for. Where would he be now if his name became world known? In a way the though still creeps up my spine, and I push it away as hard as possible.
This young man is one of the strongest and hardwilled people I've ever met. Many don't understand him, and many never will. It's damn near impossible to bring him down, you won't ever break him down.
He's been through what seems like hell, but has never let it show through his amazing eyes and permanently glowing smile. He writes words of a genious, and has a heart of gold, a killer smile, and a genuine soul. He's got wits and he most definitly got the looks, but noone on earth can ever be fairly compared to the man.
Each time I look at him my heart starts to jump, with a different sort of admiration. One hug perhaps could have lasted hours if possible, as the images of the past four years flew through my then overwhelmed mind. As h let go and smiled at me, i quickly erased my tears as he thanked me for coming, and cracked a joke, while I turned and whispered to someone beside me... " He is far from that boy we saw on tv eh? " and with that he looked up and grinned as if he was saying thankyou.
I do know what I said is true, but whatever happens no matter how much he changes, his name will forever be engraved in my prouder then ever, gleaming heart. He never fails to make me smile, or make me laugh, he never lets us down, he never will understand how much he means to some... but perhaps someday he shall?

" I dream of arose, born of more thorns than beauty..."

Famous Last Words..

Music.
More then just something to ddance to.
Words. Sounds. Instruments. Cute Band Boys.
There's t he sweat and the tears.
Some hard work, and some fears.
Screaming fans, stereotypical opening bands.
Long hours with fans, with nothing to keep you sane
No matter what happens each night, you'll just be back on that same old plane
It's the chills through the spine, that prooves everything's fune.
The stage is yours to own.
A beat of a drum, the simple sound of a guitars' strum
The rumble from a bass, and the lead's a nutcase
The music starts, the words come easy
Girls are screaming on the top of their lungs
He's looking down and smiling
He says to himself " what have I got to lose?"
Jumps back on his feet..
"I hope you brought your dancing shoes"

So you think that my life is a paycheque..

wet love

Pitter patter , patter pitter
The sound of rain hitting an open window
the sound of an open heart beating
There's something about the way the rain hits my face as my eyes are fixed to the dark, grey skiy it has a way of warmth to it no matter how cold it really is.
Patter pitter, pitter patter

...

He used to be so simple
He used to be so free
Now he spends his time locked up in his own captivity

Keepsakes..

Keep leading me to the same old things
the same old memories, the same old stories
Keep showing me the meaning of laying under the stars and relizing the sparkle i see is not from the sky above but right in front of me, with your eyes staring above at the feild of dreams layed out in front of you.
Keep , me from escaping the reality of what is yet to come, of what we could be, when we could be, if we could be.
Keep from saying the little things I may regret, it won't take much
Keep it simple, from now until forever.
Keep on leading me to believing something is there when it's not
Keep on leading me to you, while you allow her to lead you to her
Keep breaking your promises, and your apologies
Keep me from the truth, and keep me from the reality that is of never holding your hand
Keep up the good work
Keep leading me to nothing.

Keep on Keepin on!

Indecent Exposure..

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be able to breathe carelessly? to live carelessly? to be careless? But instead to have your life handed to you on a platter, when it can just as easily drift away like the pedals of a dieing flower. The sun hides her eyes from the darkness of the clouds that present themselves in front of her. The wind slowly caresses your exposed face, and wipes away all your dreams , with his attempt to live carelessly. Cars whiz on by , you keep on walking, thinking to yourself, is this what it takes to live carelessly, what is breathing carelessly when you can particularily breathe? The sun opens her eyes, and her rays gleam across your face, the clouds scurry away, the wind is now a mere breeze the once dieing flower raises her pedals with a glimpse of a new life. You ask yourself 'what am i doing, to live carelessly is to live life on the edge, but if that edge brings you too close, there is no life to live carelessly''. you take that careless breathe, the one thing in life you don't have to think about in order to survive, it just happens...carelessly. carelessly living, carelessly breathing, careless! It;s the indecent exposure to the careless sign of a helpless life.

Real Eyes, Realize, Real Cries

A single rain drop struggles it's way to the ground
Another hand is risen, dropped
She tastes salt upon her lips, with each tear that trickles down
Another door slammed, he mumbles his words
nothing's changed

Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?
sunlight peers through the shreaded curtains
how did you sleep? sleep? he asks?
she feels his cold hands on her shoulder

another door slammed
more crashing, more banging
he runs through the rooms
tearingher to the dirt

she smells the liquor he's been drinking.
have you beendrinking?
she knows this was a question he needn't asnwer
another hand risen
the sound of sirens in the background
the locking up of his handcuffs

he told her he could change
I'm sorry
he could now clearly see the pain in her eyes
he tastes salt upon his lip as tears fall without control

i love you she whispers
she wipes her tears one last time

good morning princess how did you sleep?
she felt his warm arms wrap against her coldbody
she no longer hides her pain behind her smile

leave the coldhearted behind coldbars
welcomethe warmhearted intoyour warmhearts.


love me

Consider it a dream, consider it real life...consider it friendships

A mere hundreds of miles across the land
The feeling of a life long friendship
They go out of their way for you
They would do almost anything for you
HOurs a day of pointless conversations
It's like you grew up together
The littles things remind you of them, and you turn your head and giggle
inside jokes, nicknames, endless laughter, and late nights
Tears, and childish fights
They're there for you through the thick and the thin
During your tears because of that band ( s )
or during your outragous fan girl moments over those certain boys
They've made your name known
and you cant begin to thank
It kind of hits hoome
when you think about what they have done for you and you've done very little in return
But you take it to heart.
They have no idea how they have changed your life
even at most times they must be kept hidden from your real world, they always understand.
Never before have you shed so much tears of joy, admist the hours of complaining you do they sit their and listen
Look at your real friends they are nothing to compare, they to are real friends just with a major disadvantage, the space between you
yoou dont know these people
youve never met them
but you love them and have an unbreakable bond
consider it a dream
consider it real life
consider it a friendship

i consider it life long friends

Dear mister know it all

DearMister Know it all;

If the rumors are true
Than god answered my prayers
Please let me know
That you now have your life in tow
It hurt to see you so cold
But now to see you ever so bold
Puts a smile on our faces
Just promise to spend this time in baby paces.

If the rumors are true

LoveWhat's her name;

and her tears could drown the whole world...

Two years of empty faces
Seems like I can't find a shining face in the crowd that stands in front of me
I fake a smile as each day passes, nobody knows what it conceals
No one understands in this new found world, no one ever will
I miss the real smiles, the laughter, the tears, and the fights
What I'd give to see you, to have you by my side, to laugh again

To be surrounded by such familiar things, to later drop it all and leave
Brings tears to my eyes, knowing you're not here to answer my cries
Why did it have to be this way I was so happy, I lived on the edge
Causing trouble like we were satan's offspring hah

The only tears that came to my eyes two years ago was over our stupid fights
The last time my eyes cried until they could cry nomore was the day I left you
The day I felt like I was litterally dieing
I felt so empty, I still feel empty, I still think it was a good move in my life
But when i get to thinking about the times we used to have, my world starts crumbling again.

What I would do to have you here with me

If only I could find that one shining face in the crowd, if Those faces didn't seem so empty
If only...
If only I had my best friend right here by my side.

Kimberly Oneil, you are my life, I miss you so much, god damit, best friends no matter what.

xox

pee ess: Why is life so hard sometimes

and the whole damn world revolved around me.

A long distance call
Exxcitement arose
Thousands of screams
The sound of a favorite song
Body shaking
Tearrs slowly falling
The voice of a man i never thought i'd hear
Laughter arose within me
As i wiped away the tears
Trembling
Simply speechless, what was there to say
Singing along, with tears streaming down
Overwhelming excitment
The sound of laughter
The thousands of screams from the crowd
That voice again
A smile comes over me
Just a phone callaway from what was happening a thousand miles away.
A thousand miles away
The excitment
The tears
The overwhelming feeling that came over
What i thought i'd never experience seem to wash away for those few minutes
20 minutes compared to four years
The phone goes dead
The tears get heavier
The shaking increases
The smiling starts again
I never thought i could feel so special
I never knew i'd hear that angels voice
I never thought I'd get such a feeling
I never knew the excitment behind the such things i love

It was as if the whole damn world revovled round me
Thatt one cold saturday winter night in february.

Life, it's what i live for.

So what's the deal with lampshades?

Sweet smiles, so bitter sweet, like a kiss upon my cheek , as the sun slowly rises.
So far away from home so tired and feeling so fucking alone
Seems like only a few things make me happy in this world
So here she goes

- Some Guy named Rosin
- Sweet simple smiles
- Some band named hedley
- Sane People
- Some old band named hedley
- Sweet smells
- Scraps...my stuffed dog (shut up i'm a girl, don't front)
- Snowbanks....pushing people into them, not so much when they retaliate.
- Sweet surrending crushes
- Socialight
- Sexy band boys
- Sir Rawr
- School ....my friends are there
- Same faces
- Sweet hugs
- Simply perverted conversations 24/7
- Some sweetsweeet boy.
- Stevee...the only and only HedleyRocker.
- Some things..

So not as complicated as I look
Some people can't sseem to figure me out.
Some how i think I confused them more.
So this is me, saying hello, to the furtre
So this is me saying 'come back' to that life that's quickly passing me by.
Somehow someway tell me where the time as been and where it's going to in such a rush.
Sincerly, you're dearest friend.
Some chick from Neewfoundland Carriee.


" She came in a box, I loved and I sold her"

Love struck

I discovered today..
I've been struck by cupids arrow.. One that dug right in, it came without notice, but it seems like it's here to stay. I'd like to tell him to fly the fuck off but what sense is there in that? But how do I proove that ? I'll tell you how.. Cupid, cupid's a murderer. A sneaky one at that, he should be on america's most wanted. Cute and loveable on the outside, but one hell of a bastard on the inside. I know we should view love as the highlight of our lives, but how is that possible when all it does is cause pain, and eventually turn to hate? Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. He goes around striking young alike with the worst pain of all , the most beautiful thing of all.. the most murderous thing of all. Love. Love. Love. Life, love, life. Without life there would be no love. Without love there would be no life. With hate there would be no love. With hate there would be no life. Without life there would be no hate. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Love. Hate. Life. Cupid's arrows, cupid's pain. The most painful beautiful thing. Love.

Stupid, Stupid Cupid. Cupid. Love.

Tears of heaven

Two snowflakes, not one alike, millions of raindrops, all are identical. Walking alone on a cold blustery day with a sweater and a scarf, the snow whipping at your uncovered face and hands. Such a horrible feeling yet such an amazing accomplish. Witnessing god's most beautiful creation with not a care in the world.

Walking with your back against the wind, seeking shelter from the tears of heaven, bus shelters overflowing with people, you don't dare look them in the eye. You don't hide your tears, why should you, the rain drops hide all visible emotion.

Maybe god's idea was to get us thinking how two simple things that are so alike yet so different, represent the two biggest things in life. Snowflakes, being happiness. When I think of snow I think of the smiles of little children, hot chocolate and the late nights by the fire. Raindrops being saddeness. As if at that time of the day everyone in the world was shedding a tear. With each single tear we could cry our own rivers and then drown the whole world.

This place we call home would be so blank and so cold hearted, if we never experienced having to walk in the snow up to our knees to work, or missed that last bus home and had to walk six miles in the rain. Maybe life is that simple. Maybe we just don't think.

Two snowflakes, and millions of raindrops. I guess they have more similarities than differences, but don't we all?

Life has it's hidden symbolic structures, it takes the simplest of minds to discover such things.

sucks to you

Don't put yourself in the wreckin' ball
Mornin' comes and you loose it all.

I've gone and I've said the things I had to say..
Words spoken from an outsider, one who watched you grow
Who watched you at your lowest points in the game
It's half game now, you're looking down on the crowd
How did you get here now
Those faces looking up at you
They feel they know you, they can't get enough
When the game gets rough, you stick through it and always stay tough
I imagine you'll never be the one to say I've had enough
You love it too much, this games just getting started
So you kick your heels and you grab your mic
open your mouth and words start flowin
The girls start screaming and You start laughing
Those smiling faces is what gives you the rush
The rush that makes you never give up
You're one crazy fool that does what he does
You're never the one to give two fucks
You walk into a room and everyone ducks
Negative opinions, looking down upon you
You laugh it off, and walk away
You are who you are

So the lights are gettin low, the bass keeps droppin, the drums are runnin, the guitars keep strummin
You kick up your heels and throw off your shirt, grab the mic and lets get it poppin
The thousands of faces lookin up at you, they are your world , they got you here...
We think the world of you Such a man who can do what he do
he can always mess up and his fans will always help pull him through.
Keep the mic in your hands, your pants around your knees, keep the words coming, make those ladies scream.