Ignorance is Bliss...

i hope it gives you hell

2009-02-03T12:29:00.001-03:30

Don’t be jealous of the life I lead, because really there isn’t a need. I walk around here with nothing but a smile, my head up half a mile. Who cares about my money, because listen here honey, it’s not about the clothes you wear, honestly it’s not like I care. It’s about the feeling, almost like a physical healing, that comes to you, when there are ones who hate being true. I’m not going to cry about it , I’m not going to try, I’m not going to lie about it

Scrapes and bruises - kisses and loses- skidoo suits and snow boots ( this goes before the one below this )

2009-02-03T12:28:00.003-03:30

Scrapes and bruises - Kisses and loses - Skidoo suits and snow boots
The way you look at me with those eyes so icey, put me on top of the world, with every glance. Every glance warmed me up, as warm as the sun on a hot summers day, as I rose higher and higher into the morning sky. The way you held me with your arms so tight, so warm, gave me huge sense of security, whenever I was in your grasp. The way you grabbed my hips as much as I hate it, I let you do it, the way you run away each time I go near yours. The way you tickled me those nights so much, that it brought me to tears I laughed so hard. The way you made me choose out the most random movies, the ones from our childhood that at most times I didn’t care for, but I’d sit through them and watched just so I could watch you fall asleep, like you did every time. How you wore those damn massive boots everywhere you went, no matter where you went, and how as much as I joked, I secretly loved them because how warm they were. I loved that I could stand on top of them and jump and jump, and you wouldn’t flinch, “steel toed boots baby, try as hard as you want”. The way you couldn’t get me to do anything, but once you said babe I fell into your spell, and did whatever you wanted me to. The way I fell for you with one look the day I first met you, your eyes brought me into your life, of mystery and questions. The questions and the mystery, made me feel even closer to you, as you let me into your life, and told me your secrets of why, how, when, and what exactly, that most knew already, but weren’t as interested in as I was. I could sit there for days on time just looking into your eyes as you talk to me about skidoos, and you know how much I know so little about such. And I’d laugh and I’d laugh, because here I sit without a clue, just looking into your eyes as you talk about throttles and tracks, and scags and handle bars , and I just think to myself how I’d do absolutely anything to hear those things 24/7 for as long as I could. Such useless things mean so much to you babe, and anything that means something to you means something to me, because I think the world of you baby. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you pick me up, the way you kiss me, the way you bite me the way you poke me, fuck it even the way you throw me off the skidoo and say its my fault ( although deep down I know I don’t know how to turn when you turn, but I secretly do it on purpose just so you show me ). Although it hurt like a bitch the many times that I fell, I like how from day one when you first hit me with your skidoo you ran so fast up smokey mountain, faster then I have ever seen anyone run with steel toed winter boots on, run uphill. “Are you okay?” the first thing that came out of your mouth. “No actually I’m not but its okay” After that night, all I could think about was you, how you came to my rescue so fast how, you were only worried about me, how when you knew I hurt, and cold you wanted to get me to the warmth and safety. As much as I was in pain I still managed to look at jess and say “oh shit his eyes jess, just look at those eyes” you had me lost in your eyes babe. But now, lost in your eyes, im still oh so found, whenever I hear your voice or feel your touch. Everytime you say you love me, I just simply melt. Because for once in my life, I honestly feel like I love someone, and that someone is you. And baby as much as I miss you, im going to smile because I deserve to, baby it all gets better in time.

Take me home i dont wanna be alone tonight.

2009-02-03T12:18:00.002-03:30

How do i smile when it hurts to not cry? How do i forget you when I cry when i try to remember you . All it takes in order to hide, from those of which are by my side is to bite my lip and wipe my face, forget that trip and remember that place.

You dont even care what youve done to me but who can blame you wanting to be ffree, im sorry i never could see that you truely never wanted to be wtih me.

Baby why cant you see what youve done to me? I want to hear that voice and see that face, see that smile, be out of this place. Laugh out loud at your stupid remarks, about that place being nothing but narks haha. To taste your kiss, oh what id give for that one simple thing i clearly miss. To not fell my toes, my fingers or my nose, because of you i nearly froze. ADays and days of nothing but glee, it started to seem to good to be.

On that day back when, baby you know when, my heart had sunk and i sait in tears over you little punk :) I never knew you just knew of you, not one not four, not five not two. Why oh why could i believe thats true. You rock my worl cant you see trust me baby ill always stay me.

Don't change for anyone dont change your mind boys like you are hard to find, simple and ssweet , being with you was far form a feat. To touch your face and be out of this place, to call you mine, let everything be fine. id give up all to just see smiles, lets be friends the best of friends remain through miles...

I love you... :(

RE: The sweater song

2008-11-18T00:54:00.002-03:30

you say "now don't you flirt" and "please baby don't get hurt"
Oh boy you had to flirt and here i sit with a heart of hurt.
Oh baby i'd give up my sweater and my shirt just to lay with you and flirt
My face spent days with tons of smiles, you're on the road a thousand miles.
Late nights writing, you continue on fighting.
Temptation just to flirt, always lands me with a heart of hurt.
Why'd you have to go and flirt.
Hotel room and drunken nights, flinging girls and bar room fights.
You offered up your sweater boy
You kn ow I hate this weather boy
I can't believe I'm still holding on to this sweater boy.
Oh I love you boy, but she's just a one night toy.
You're on the road a hundred miles, drying tears and forcing smiles.
baby hurry up with those few miles.
You said "baby it's going to be a while now, so go ahead and smile now"
Every night you're up on stage, and tonight i decide to turn the page.
you offered up your sweater boy, i 'll hang on to it throughout this weather boy,
I hope she offers up her sweater and her shirt, and hope you warn her not to flirt.
Don't leave her with a heart of hurt.

I'll sitt here in your sweater boy, and simply beg you to flirt.

hipbones and microphones

2008-08-16T13:06:00.002-02:30

I wish i could speak the words i wanted to speak, but when i try the words just don't come fast or clear enough to make sense, mother nature sets the best example of free flowing words. When the skies open up she lets the rain fall down, showing clearly the sadness in her heart. As clear as the trinkling stream i stand in on a bright summers day, the pebbles flowing slightly beside my feet.

I fee like the man in the mood someimtes, everyone pretends to see me but only a select few who believe and try hard enough actually really do..... and out of that select few, only a handful actually care at all!

hipbones and microphones..

i've got birds in my ear and a devil on my shoulder

2008-08-16T13:02:00.002-02:30

It gets old, when everytime you're down you have to grin and bare it, forcing you to hide behind that fake, familiar smile of which your hate for, grows each time you are forced to wear it, like that sweater your grandmother wore with kittens on the front, that your mother made you wear each time she would visit. It gets old, just having to grin and to bare it.

cold as ice

2008-08-11T20:31:00.001-02:30

my faith in you, the pride, the proudness, everything that i had in you, stumbled away that night, just like your intoxicated system walking out that open door.

three aces

2008-08-11T19:32:00.003-02:30

Some of you girls are so unbelievable, following boys who are so unpredictable. Some of you boys - should just keep banging your drums, not those in the crowd.

liar liar, your ass is on fiah!

2008-08-09T17:24:00.002-02:30

Light a fire under my ass you're bound to get blown away, keep underminding me and just watch a see, how i win you over in a fight of glee. A fighter with a head of steam turns up to nothing but one filled to capacity with hot air, deflated with a full of a lever. I've got the brains to confuse you, a body to please you, fists to bruise you, hands to amuse you, a mouth that will abuse you, an attitude to leave you black and blue, go ahead, take your choose, ether way you're bound to loose. I'm the fire, about to burn you're ass

The life before us

2008-02-18T00:06:00.002-03:30

Hate me, hate me you've been alot of trouble latly
tease me tease me, go ahead, try to please me.
Bigger bigger your head is growing bigger
trigger trigger, its too late you've pulled the trigger
hold up wait a minute, hold my beer this could take a while
a leader leader, yeah another fucking leader
a writer a writer a jaw dropping writer
girls girls mothereffingprivacydiggingoverlyoffended girls.
its too late, too late, to ..apologize..?
i mean we never expected an apology don't make us idiotic we're far from it, don't undermind us

i apologize for giving too much, for carring too much, being proud, trying to "break you down"
a fighter fighter your one strong freaking fighter
but normal normal never perfect always normal.
boy, boy, your just another boy
hate me hate me so what? ive been alot of trouble latly.
xo

believe me boy im so tired of running

2007-12-21T13:19:00.000-03:30

If falling for you boy is crazy, then i'm going out of my, so hold back your tears this time.

....

2007-10-19T21:33:00.000-02:30

It never really hit me..
how i've never had somebody
someone to would give up everything for me
to cuddle with till four am
to be there to kiss my forehead as the sun rises
someone to call me own..
just to have someone to hold my hand for no reason
and to hug me like they will never let go.

just to wake up in the morning,
and to know im the love of his life..

been questioned and broken..

2007-10-18T15:43:00.001-02:30

Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not too late to start again...
A writer himself - throwing words on papers probably strung from the ceiling to the floor below filled with words held close to his heart. I've yet to encounter someone with the brilliance this man has shown to the world. A heart breaking work...

I find his words constantly repeating over and over through my mind - coming to the conclusion that perhaps his words were meant to be as condensed and as complicated as they seem while they flow through my thoughts.This boy tends to always glow, always be the center of attention, always stand out in a crowd, and always having the last laugh. For most his name was lost in space, but for others his future in fame had already been engraved in stone a few years previous.West to east and north to south, Canada slowly heard the one name that my heart will never forget. Each week he never failed to make us proud and to bring a smile to my face. Week after week with our phones to our ears, we pulled him through.His last night was clear that we did the right thing, we made him proud; he wanted us to want him and he got what he wished for. Where would he be now if his name became world known?

In a way the thought still sends chills up my spine, but I push it away as much as I can.This young man is one of the strongest and most hard-willed people I've ever met. Many don't understand him and unfortunately, many never will. It's damn near impossible to bring him down, you won't ever break him down.He's been through what seems like hell but has never let it show through his amazing eyes and permanently glowing smile. He writes words of a genius, and has a heart of gold, a killer smile, and a genuine soul. He's got wits and most definitely has the looks, but no one on earth can ever be fairly compared to the man.Each time I look at him my heart starts to jump, with a different sort of admiration. One hug perhaps could have lasted hours if possible, as the images of the past four years flew through my than overwhelmed mind. As he let go and smiled at me, I quickly erased my tears as he thanked me for coming and cracked a joke. I than turned and whispered to someone beside me... "He is far from that boy we saw on TV, eh?" and with that he looked up and grinned as if he was saying “Thank You”.I do know what I said is true, but whatever happens no matter how much he changes, his name will forever be engraved in my prouder then ever, gleaming heart. He never fails to make me smile, or make me laugh. He never lets us down, he never will understand how much he means to some... but perhaps someday he shall?" I dream of arose, born of more thorns than beauty..."

Find a way to smile and never let it get away

2007-10-18T15:43:00.000-02:30

The sun hit my eyes with a sudden burst of light.
Pulling me from what felt like a lifelong sleep
Within seconds the excitement of what would follow hours later, hit me like a ton of bricks.

With nothing but a long and winding road surrounded by trees
the sun peaking its eyes out from behind the large, beautiful mountains
We drove through was looked like a scene taken from a childeren's story book.

It felt like the longest hour of my life.

The cold, metal barrier standing in front of us came as a relief,
as myself and others wiped the beads of sweat from our forheads.

My heart skipped several beats, as my knees became weak
One simple simle and a few stray words
became something unforgettable.

The vibrations came through the speakers rattling the earth around.
The man on the microphone brought thousands to bone rattling screams
As a voice of an angel began to sing.
His simple little turns didn't faze me,
but his simple little words still amaze me.

Tears streamed down my hot, wet cheeks
i was wrapped in his embrace.
The past 4 years seemed to tie all into this one day
Increadible what a handful of hugs can do to someone .
Incredible what impact four troublemakes can have on someone.

Holding the chain around my neck
his gift still gently hangs
the tears have transformed to smiles,
that day a unforgettable experience.

"Cross your fingers and toes" because ..
I know if we try we can climb this mountain.

- 4 months have passed and the memories stay the same..

Don't settle for the cold and rain it's not to late to start again...

....

2007-10-05T20:03:00.000-02:30

There's no need for words
just a smile and a kiss
and we'll find ourselves amongst irresistable bliss

You're more then just a dance hall drug
I can't wait to fall in love

We;re more obvious then the wind in our hair
on a brisk fall evening
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing
Those eyes saying something more then your heart desires..

Don't settle for the cold and rain, it's not to late to start again...

2007-10-03T17:00:00.000-02:30

A writer himself, throwing words on papers probaly strung from the ceiling to the floor blow. I've yet to encounter someone with the brilliance this man has shown to the world. A heart breaking work...
I find myself constantly repeating his words over and over through my mind, coming to the conclusion that perhaps his words, were meant to be as condensed and as compicated as they seem while they flow through my thoughts.
This boy tends to always glow, always be the center of attention, always standing out in a crowd, always having the last laugh. For most, his name never came across their minds, nor did they ever hear it mentioned, but for others his future in fame, had already been written in stone a few years previously.
West to east, and east to west, Canada slowly heard the one name I'll never forget. Each week he never failed to make us proud, and to bring a smile to my face. Week after week, with our phones to our ears, we pulled him through.
His last night was clear, that we did the right thing, we made him proud. He wanted us to want him and he got what he wished for. Where would he be now if his name became world known? In a way the though still creeps up my spine, and I push it away as hard as possible.
This young man is one of the strongest and hardwilled people I've ever met. Many don't understand him, and many never will. It's damn near impossible to bring him down, you won't ever break him down.
He's been through what seems like hell, but has never let it show through his amazing eyes and permanently glowing smile. He writes words of a genious, and has a heart of gold, a killer smile, and a genuine soul. He's got wits and he most definitly got the looks, but noone on earth can ever be fairly compared to the man.
Each time I look at him my heart starts to jump, with a different sort of admiration. One hug perhaps could have lasted hours if possible, as the images of the past four years flew through my then overwhelmed mind. As h let go and smiled at me, i quickly erased my tears as he thanked me for coming, and cracked a joke, while I turned and whispered to someone beside me... " He is far from that boy we saw on tv eh? " and with that he looked up and grinned as if he was saying thankyou.
I do know what I said is true, but whatever happens no matter how much he changes, his name will forever be engraved in my prouder then ever, gleaming heart. He never fails to make me smile, or make me laugh, he never lets us down, he never will understand how much he means to some... but perhaps someday he shall?

" I dream of arose, born of more thorns than beauty..."

Famous Last Words..

2007-08-26T23:33:00.000-02:30

Music.
More then just something to ddance to.
Words. Sounds. Instruments. Cute Band Boys.
There's t he sweat and the tears.
Some hard work, and some fears.
Screaming fans, stereotypical opening bands.
Long hours with fans, with nothing to keep you sane
No matter what happens each night, you'll just be back on that same old plane
It's the chills through the spine, that prooves everything's fune.
The stage is yours to own.
A beat of a drum, the simple sound of a guitars' strum
The rumble from a bass, and the lead's a nutcase
The music starts, the words come easy
Girls are screaming on the top of their lungs
He's looking down and smiling
He says to himself " what have I got to lose?"
Jumps back on his feet..
"I hope you brought your dancing shoes"

So you think that my life is a paycheque..

wet love

2007-07-19T22:47:00.001-02:30

Pitter patter , patter pitter
The sound of rain hitting an open window
the sound of an open heart beating
There's something about the way the rain hits my face as my eyes are fixed to the dark, grey skiy it has a way of warmth to it no matter how cold it really is.
Patter pitter, pitter patter

...

2007-07-19T22:47:00.000-02:30

He used to be so simple
He used to be so free
Now he spends his time locked up in his own captivity

Keepsakes..

2007-07-18T18:56:00.000-02:30

Keep leading me to the same old things
the same old memories, the same old stories
Keep showing me the meaning of laying under the stars and relizing the sparkle i see is not from the sky above but right in front of me, with your eyes staring above at the feild of dreams layed out in front of you.
Keep , me from escaping the reality of what is yet to come, of what we could be, when we could be, if we could be.
Keep from saying the little things I may regret, it won't take much
Keep it simple, from now until forever.
Keep on leading me to believing something is there when it's not
Keep on leading me to you, while you allow her to lead you to her
Keep breaking your promises, and your apologies
Keep me from the truth, and keep me from the reality that is of never holding your hand
Keep up the good work
Keep leading me to nothing.

Keep on Keepin on!

Indecent Exposure..

2007-07-02T19:26:00.000-02:30

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be able to breathe carelessly? to live carelessly? to be careless? But instead to have your life handed to you on a platter, when it can just as easily drift away like the pedals of a dieing flower. The sun hides her eyes from the darkness of the clouds that present themselves in front of her. The wind slowly caresses your exposed face, and wipes away all your dreams , with his attempt to live carelessly. Cars whiz on by , you keep on walking, thinking to yourself, is this what it takes to live carelessly, what is breathing carelessly when you can particularily breathe? The sun opens her eyes, and her rays gleam across your face, the clouds scurry away, the wind is now a mere breeze the once dieing flower raises her pedals with a glimpse of a new life. You ask yourself 'what am i doing, to live carelessly is to live life on the edge, but if that edge brings you too close, there is no life to live carelessly''. you take that careless breathe, the one thing in life you don't have to think about in order to survive, it just happens...carelessly. carelessly living, carelessly breathing, careless! It;s the indecent exposure to the careless sign of a helpless life.

Real Eyes, Realize, Real Cries

2007-05-06T00:22:00.000-02:30

A single rain drop struggles it's way to the ground
Another hand is risen, dropped
She tastes salt upon her lips, with each tear that trickles down
Another door slammed, he mumbles his words
nothing's changed

Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?
sunlight peers through the shreaded curtains
how did you sleep? sleep? he asks?
she feels his cold hands on her shoulder

another door slammed
more crashing, more banging
he runs through the rooms
tearingher to the dirt

she smells the liquor he's been drinking.
have you beendrinking?
she knows this was a question he needn't asnwer
another hand risen
the sound of sirens in the background
the locking up of his handcuffs

he told her he could change
I'm sorry
he could now clearly see the pain in her eyes
he tastes salt upon his lip as tears fall without control

i love you she whispers
she wipes her tears one last time

good morning princess how did you sleep?
she felt his warm arms wrap against her coldbody
she no longer hides her pain behind her smile

leave the coldhearted behind coldbars
welcomethe warmhearted intoyour warmhearts.

love me

Consider it a dream, consider it real life...consider it friendships

2007-04-25T16:46:00.000-02:30

A mere hundreds of miles across the land
The feeling of a life long friendship
They go out of their way for you
They would do almost anything for you
HOurs a day of pointless conversations
It's like you grew up together
The littles things remind you of them, and you turn your head and giggle
inside jokes, nicknames, endless laughter, and late nights
Tears, and childish fights
They're there for you through the thick and the thin
During your tears because of that band ( s )
or during your outragous fan girl moments over those certain boys
They've made your name known
and you cant begin to thank
It kind of hits hoome
when you think about what they have done for you and you've done very little in return
But you take it to heart.
They have no idea how they have changed your life
even at most times they must be kept hidden from your real world, they always understand.
Never before have you shed so much tears of joy, admist the hours of complaining you do they sit their and listen
Look at your real friends they are nothing to compare, they to are real friends just with a major disadvantage, the space between you
yoou dont know these people
youve never met them
but you love them and have an unbreakable bond
consider it a dream
consider it real life
consider it a friendship

i consider it life long friends

Dear mister know it all

2007-02-23T17:33:00.000-03:30

DearMister Know it all;

If the rumors are true
Than god answered my prayers
Please let me know
That you now have your life in tow
It hurt to see you so cold
But now to see you ever so bold
Puts a smile on our faces
Just promise to spend this time in baby paces.

If the rumors are true

LoveWhat's her name;

and her tears could drown the whole world...

2007-02-20T11:13:00.000-03:30

Two years of empty faces
Seems like I can't find a shining face in the crowd that stands in front of me
I fake a smile as each day passes, nobody knows what it conceals
No one understands in this new found world, no one ever will
I miss the real smiles, the laughter, the tears, and the fights
What I'd give to see you, to have you by my side, to laugh again

To be surrounded by such familiar things, to later drop it all and leave
Brings tears to my eyes, knowing you're not here to answer my cries
Why did it have to be this way I was so happy, I lived on the edge
Causing trouble like we were satan's offspring hah

The only tears that came to my eyes two years ago was over our stupid fights
The last time my eyes cried until they could cry nomore was the day I left you
The day I felt like I was litterally dieing
I felt so empty, I still feel empty, I still think it was a good move in my life
But when i get to thinking about the times we used to have, my world starts crumbling again.

What I would do to have you here with me

If only I could find that one shining face in the crowd, if Those faces didn't seem so empty
If only...
If only I had my best friend right here by my side.

Kimberly Oneil, you are my life, I miss you so much, god damit, best friends no matter what.

xox

pee ess: Why is life so hard sometimes

and the whole damn world revolved around me.

2007-02-12T18:03:00.000-03:30

A long distance call
Exxcitement arose
Thousands of screams
The sound of a favorite song
Body shaking
Tearrs slowly falling
The voice of a man i never thought i'd hear
Laughter arose within me
As i wiped away the tears
Trembling
Simply speechless, what was there to say
Singing along, with tears streaming down
Overwhelming excitment
The sound of laughter
The thousands of screams from the crowd
That voice again
A smile comes over me
Just a phone callaway from what was happening a thousand miles away.
A thousand miles away
The excitment
The tears
The overwhelming feeling that came over
What i thought i'd never experience seem to wash away for those few minutes
20 minutes compared to four years
The phone goes dead
The tears get heavier
The shaking increases
The smiling starts again
I never thought i could feel so special
I never knew i'd hear that angels voice
I never thought I'd get such a feeling
I never knew the excitment behind the such things i love

It was as if the whole damn world revovled round me
Thatt one cold saturday winter night in february.

Life, it's what i live for.

So what's the deal with lampshades?

2007-02-09T17:18:00.000-03:30

Sweet smiles, so bitter sweet, like a kiss upon my cheek , as the sun slowly rises.
So far away from home so tired and feeling so fucking alone
Seems like only a few things make me happy in this world
So here she goes

- Some Guy named Rosin
- Sweet simple smiles
- Some band named hedley
- Sane People
- Some old band named hedley
- Sweet smells
- Scraps...my stuffed dog (shut up i'm a girl, don't front)
- Snowbanks....pushing people into them, not so much when they retaliate.
- Sweet surrending crushes
- Socialight
- Sexy band boys
- Sir Rawr
- School ....my friends are there
- Same faces
- Sweet hugs
- Simply perverted conversations 24/7
- Some sweetsweeet boy.
- Stevee...the only and only HedleyRocker.
- Some things..

So not as complicated as I look
Some people can't sseem to figure me out.
Some how i think I confused them more.
So this is me, saying hello, to the furtre
So this is me saying 'come back' to that life that's quickly passing me by.
Somehow someway tell me where the time as been and where it's going to in such a rush.
Sincerly, you're dearest friend.
Some chick from Neewfoundland Carriee.

" She came in a box, I loved and I sold her"

Love struck

2007-02-04T13:29:00.000-03:30

I discovered today..
I've been struck by cupids arrow.. One that dug right in, it came without notice, but it seems like it's here to stay. I'd like to tell him to fly the fuck off but what sense is there in that? But how do I proove that ? I'll tell you how.. Cupid, cupid's a murderer. A sneaky one at that, he should be on america's most wanted. Cute and loveable on the outside, but one hell of a bastard on the inside. I know we should view love as the highlight of our lives, but how is that possible when all it does is cause pain, and eventually turn to hate? Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. He goes around striking young alike with the worst pain of all , the most beautiful thing of all.. the most murderous thing of all. Love. Love. Love. Life, love, life. Without life there would be no love. Without love there would be no life. With hate there would be no love. With hate there would be no life. Without life there would be no hate. Cupid. Cupid. Cupid. Love. Hate. Life. Cupid's arrows, cupid's pain. The most painful beautiful thing. Love.

Stupid, Stupid Cupid. Cupid. Love.

Tears of heaven

2007-02-04T10:15:00.000-03:30

Two snowflakes, not one alike, millions of raindrops, all are identical. Walking alone on a cold blustery day with a sweater and a scarf, the snow whipping at your uncovered face and hands. Such a horrible feeling yet such an amazing accomplish. Witnessing god's most beautiful creation with not a care in the world.

Walking with your back against the wind, seeking shelter from the tears of heaven, bus shelters overflowing with people, you don't dare look them in the eye. You don't hide your tears, why should you, the rain drops hide all visible emotion.

Maybe god's idea was to get us thinking how two simple things that are so alike yet so different, represent the two biggest things in life. Snowflakes, being happiness. When I think of snow I think of the smiles of little children, hot chocolate and the late nights by the fire. Raindrops being saddeness. As if at that time of the day everyone in the world was shedding a tear. With each single tear we could cry our own rivers and then drown the whole world.

This place we call home would be so blank and so cold hearted, if we never experienced having to walk in the snow up to our knees to work, or missed that last bus home and had to walk six miles in the rain. Maybe life is that simple. Maybe we just don't think.

Two snowflakes, and millions of raindrops. I guess they have more similarities than differences, but don't we all?

Life has it's hidden symbolic structures, it takes the simplest of minds to discover such things.

sucks to you

2007-01-20T19:30:00.000-03:30

Don't put yourself in the wreckin' ball
Mornin' comes and you loose it all.

I've gone and I've said the things I had to say..
Words spoken from an outsider, one who watched you grow
Who watched you at your lowest points in the game
It's half game now, you're looking down on the crowd
How did you get here now
Those faces looking up at you
They feel they know you, they can't get enough
When the game gets rough, you stick through it and always stay tough
I imagine you'll never be the one to say I've had enough
You love it too much, this games just getting started
So you kick your heels and you grab your mic
open your mouth and words start flowin
The girls start screaming and You start laughing
Those smiling faces is what gives you the rush
The rush that makes you never give up
You're one crazy fool that does what he does
You're never the one to give two fucks
You walk into a room and everyone ducks
Negative opinions, looking down upon you
You laugh it off, and walk away
You are who you are

So the lights are gettin low, the bass keeps droppin, the drums are runnin, the guitars keep strummin
You kick up your heels and throw off your shirt, grab the mic and lets get it poppin
The thousands of faces lookin up at you, they are your world , they got you here...
We think the world of you Such a man who can do what he do
he can always mess up and his fans will always help pull him through.
Keep the mic in your hands, your pants around your knees, keep the words coming, make those ladies scream.

lost but never forgotten

2006-11-25T22:46:00.000-03:30

I wrote this this week in my writing class at school, its about a random soldier in the first world war.

His birth brought his mother to tears.
Diapers, toys, playing with neighborhood boys.
On his tenth birthday, his father died, but he had no time to cry.
He became the man of the house. His siblings asking “when is daddy coming home”.

Education was a mere thought. He became a dropout by the age of twelve.
He received some news on his sixteenth birthday.
Two weeks later he kissed his mother goodbye.
Not knowing he’d never return or what he was doing to his family.

The war made a man out of the boy. He prayed for his family and himself daily
In a way he needed that connection with God.

Letters from home flashed back to his childhood.
He missed being Dad’s bud, and Mom’s baby.
Wiping his tears, head held high, he’d head back into battle.

Questions embedded in his mind.
What if he didn’t survive? What would it do to his family?
The boy inside the man had enough. He wanted to return home.
His wish was granted. Months after he left home, he’d be on that boat back to Newfoundland.

Days short of his homecoming his men went into battle. Sixty-eight men were left untouched by he was not one of them.

He came into the world with a cry that brought his mother to tears.
Years later her little boy was lost forever.Lost but never forgotten.

STFU, it's that simple

2006-10-06T20:29:00.000-02:30

Don't open you're mouth to me.
You must have brains made of shit
you don't understand me don't fucking speak.

It's bullshit you bring me
i can't help but cry
who cares how you feel
it's about how i feel

you've had the experience
i've been so close

it'd mean a lifetime to me
it just be another date in time for you

don't fucking pick me to peices
you don't feel what i feel

so shut the hell up
and take a look back
if you were in my shoes
would you be feeling this insane?

i don't give a shit about your complaints
if you don't give any for mine

i don't care for your feelings
if you don't realize i ahve them to

i fucking love that man.
i know i won't see him.

so fuck right off
this is my place in the world.

to be a spoiled bitch.
to complain all she wants
until she gets what she wants.

until you are on my shoes.

shut the fuck up.

Things will break me, but ill never be broken

2006-09-23T22:53:00.000-02:30

The vibe i feel when i'm sitting beside you is what keeps me going throughout the day.

An angel god hasn't pointed out to the world yet.

yet you don't seem to know how i care

"things will break me, but ill never be broken"

Broken records and mixed tapes

2006-09-22T16:39:00.000-02:30

I love the way you laugh at every little thing.
The way you smile.
Just You.

In my eyes you are a guy a girl like me deserves

to feel loved.

to just simply lie in your arms at night.

to be in your embrace.

i'm hangin on. and i'm strong

how to repair broken souls...

2006-09-16T15:36:00.000-02:30

I say this to myself and others over and over again.
i can't bare to see you like this, at your lowest, so far away from home, so tired and so damn alone.
Everything was so different last year. You sometimes wish that alll of this enver happened. That one day you'll wake up next to you're wife, and get up and drive hundreds of miles, not to get on stage, but go out on a night on the town that didn't result you and your band mates getting kicked out of hotels, and you're ass being thrown in jail. You wish you never stepped onto that stage those years back.
You.
It's almost like you have spilt personalities.
Than you stick your words behind a computer screen and keyboard and try to shove us all away.
I sometimes wish, i wish alot of the time.
That you could have your old life back
This world has played havoc on your mind
your body, and your soul.
It's heartbreaking
I don't even fucking know you...
and yet i feel sorry.
Being proud no longer fits
not when someone is confused...

If it was up to me i'd rewind the past year
remove all the hardships
make it all playout like it would in your mind..

if only.....
if i had a timemachine and knew how to repair broken souls

stay the night

2006-09-08T19:22:00.000-02:30

Dead stars dead eyes.
Blue skies, cold nights.
Words like an angel.
Smiles to melt your soul

Those butterflies in your stomach
the feeling of love
that first date
that first kiss

His hand in yours
your hand in his
The touch of his face
Being in his arms

a txt message away
a phone call away
one single kiss away

his hand on your knee
that feeling again, deep in your stomach
sweet simple kisses
with the sweetest one of all

feeling like you never felt before
feeling loved
who knew you would find that feeling again

random kisses through out that horrer flick
the feeling of being in his arms
feeling safe , while he puts his fingers through your hair

he loves the way your hair feels
those little kisses , the ones you never expect
the ones that make you feel on top of the world

he's the one for you.
and you know it.

it startts all over again
the chills up your spine
the pit in your throat
the butterflies in your stomach.
he kisses you again.

" i would of stayed the night if i knew how to save a life"

the weight of the world

2006-09-01T11:39:00.000-02:30

I heard a distant early warning, but i chose to ignore it, it came back and bit me.

These late summer nights, till 2 in the mornin, trying to keep warm in your bed as fall closes in.
4 am sudden awakenings for no apparent reason, sweating and kicking your blankets off. Turn on the tv to be able to fall asleep. Take a look at the posters by your bed. They get you thinking, to a point you're telling yourself to shutup and sleep. The dog on the floor next to you sound asleep, snoring like your grandfather after thanksgiving dinner, calling his name to wake him up. Your father in the next room snoring like never before untill you hear your mom yell " glenn shut the fuck up turn on your side " , you have to love your mother when she sleep talks.

You crawl out of the warmth of your bed and make your way to the computer, check your myspace shit, and make your way to the hedley forum. Expecting answers from people. Not an answer. Noone on msn. It's four am. Where is everyone? in the middle of a deep sleep where you wish you were at this time.

Crawl back into your bed, this time it's no longer warm but chilled from the cold in the house. You cover yourself up and turn the channels. Jacob hoggard and his bandmates. That gets you yelling at the tv. First it's HOO-GARD no HOG-ARD. His bandmates have names. Dave rosin, tom macdonald, and chris crippin. Fuck.

Turn off the tv, plug in your ipod, listen your self to sleep. two hours later , 6 am, the sun is rising, your mother is yelling to your step father that his breaktfast is ready, you yell for someone to come up and close your door so you can go back to sleep. you fall asleep for 2 more hours. Finally there's just nomore sleep left in you.

It's nights and days like that, that you wish you could just disappear from the world and get one good nights sleep. Without the world hanging on your shoulders.

The feeling of ....

2006-08-31T12:33:00.000-02:30

The sense that the world around you is caving in with every move you make.
The feeling of fall in the air, the love of having family around you everywhere you go.
The taste of music, music that gets you through times you think you'd never survive through.
The caring of friends, the love of being swept off your feet by him.
The fear of your loved ones leaving this earth, through sicknes and old age.
The craziness of growing up in a technology grown environment.
The way you feel proud about your accomplisments.

a road long ridden, but never forgotton
live life to it's fullest
don't regret anything.
don't regret me.
don't regret your failurees, treat them as life lessons.
don;'t regret.

live life.

Big city terror, small town love

2006-08-25T11:36:00.000-02:30

Almost 13 years....
Same town, same people, same everything.
Friendly neighbours, cute highschool boys.
An hour to walk around town, two minutes to the mall.
Summers fulled with parties and 10 hour trips to the beach across the road.
Hundreds of friends, a well known teenage girl.
She lacks nothing at all.
She has what most girls wish for.

A break in time....

Almost 2 years....
Different town, different people, different everything.
New neighbours who don't give two shits
highschool boys, don't have girl-friends without them 'benefits'
summers are filled with pure boredom because she feels her friends don't know she exists.
twent friends, an unknown girl.
she lacks everything and is seeking for more.
She wishes for what most girls have....
friends that would give their lives for her.

I wrote this tonight because i got to thinking, all though i shouldn't dwell on my past i cant help to wonder why my so called friends out here can' even acknowledge my own birthday, when back home i'd have 100's of people calling to go at something.

I want to go home.
I want to not worry
i want to end a relationship and have 20-30 people console me
I want to start fights with slutty teenage girls and have my 'posse' backing me up
i want to be able to steal girls boyfriends with no fear of getting my ass kicked because they are afraid of the 'popular crowd"
i want to be able to walk from one part of town to the other at 4 in the morning in a tube top and skirt and stilletos with no fear, no fear of getting picked up.
I want to be able to not fear robberies, murders, and violence other than the violence me and my group cause.

I WANT TO GO HOME.
YET I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE....

This goes out to everyone back home in Labrador City.

i'm missin out on new babies being born, weddigs, breakups, graduations, sweet 16's .

i can't do it anymore :(

I FUCKING LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

Rock freakin Bottom Bebe.....

2006-08-23T12:04:00.000-02:30

Think of this as you may, you think you know...but you have no idea.

A milisecond, a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month a year.
so many changes, in very little time.

Words and personalities change. More swearing, more drinking more ignorance. More woman, more destroying stories. More pain, brough to us by what we love.

Someone who once was so kept and so cute, who could win the hearts of everyone he met. That smile, those eyes...gosh that twinkle in his eye. The boy who everyone loved.

Who knew that cute adorable boy from that small town, that worked a job not many teens would choose. Who did what he loved most with a few friends outside of that job.

A chubby cute teenage boy now a young , skinny muscular married man. This boy can't just hang out and hammer anils, and drink beer in his basement with his buddies. He can't just go to the store and get his groceries. He can barely walk the streets.

As each day passes a new obstacle appears. You guys probaly catch my drift about who this is about. If he is reading this, don't deny, but this is not to bring offence.

That boy we knew before canada knew him, is no longer that boy. No matter how much we dream he never will be. He's in a rock band now, he drinks beer, and gets the woman, begging at his feet for him. WWhen this guy hits rock bottom he'll realize ...i hope. I look up to this man too much for him to get hurt. I'm proud, don't get me wrong. But i do miss that guy who built houses, got expelled from highschool, and who played with his four dearest freinds in a small rock garage band who played too loud, but sang words not even an angel could think of. And who slowly won the hearts of all canadians.

I am proud of you, i really am.
I am proud of who those four guys were and where they are now.
I am proud of what this band is now.

Proud truly isn't the word to really express how most of us feel, it's more than that.

Outside of most teenagers and young adults there are actually a few who are actually mature, and understand these guys moves in the business, not everyone wants to have their fucking kids. Morons.

'I sold you all that you can hold, my love struck story's getting old'

A world of bullshit..

2006-08-15T17:12:00.000-02:30

<3<3<3
Screaming girls. Loud music. Late night concerts. Free gifts. Free booze. Late night partying. Back stage blowouts. Grammys. Much music awards. The junos. Millions of dollars, for just a mere dozen songs. Tv coverage. What makes these celebrities better than everyone else. They can sing? they can act? i'm pretty damn sure they aren't the only ones in the world who can do thhose things.

There are men and woman throughout this damn world who have put their lives to better use than just entertaining a bunch of obsessed teen girls.

Firefighters, put out the blazes. Cops keep our streets safe at night. Vets save the lives of amazing little annimals. Humane services takes children out of abusive homes and place them in a safer environment for a better chance at life. Doctors and nurses save the lives of millions of people throughout the world daily. The everyday house mom washes the dishes, cleans the kids, feeds them, gets their homework done, and gets them to school on time. The everyday onlooker who stops at the scene of an accident and calms those two woman until the paramedics arrive.

It hits a nerve with me when i hear someoen say that celebrities deserve the things they get, why do they deserve more free things when there are men woman and children in this god foresaken world who don't even own a pair of shoes , or have a home to be brought into at night. Celebrities have billions of dollars given them for each film they do, yet a mere hundred dollars is like a dream come true for a family who can't afford to feed themselves.

I was watching the news the other day and with a headline that said
" TOMKAT COMES TO THE RESCUE " Meaning Tom Cruise and Katie holmes, a very known couple in teh public eye. Pulled over when they noticed a couple were in anaccident and stayed and waitied with the two while the paramedics were on the way. Well guess what , i'm only a young teen and i've pulled over to at least 20 or more accidents and stayed with the people until the paramedics came. Do you see me on the local news station. Am i in the headlines. " carrie comes to the rescue" i do freakin think so.

I think this world is a world of bullshit that thinks the only way you're good in life is if you have money.

it doesn't make sence

" big guys drivin suv's while there's kids starving in the streets it doesn't make sense to me, is everybody going crazy" - simple plan

The smell of a teenage life in the air

2006-08-10T12:06:00.000-02:30

when the sun stops shining
when the clouds disappear
when all the water dries up
that's the day i stop loving you

when the sun stops shining
is when the twinkle in your eyes vanish
and leave my mind like they never existed

when the clouds of heaven no longer appear
will be when the stairway to heartbreak opens up
my previous loves come walking down like drummers in a marching band on christmas day

when the water dries up
will be when my tears of pain and heartbreak, at the same time tears of happiness flow through the streets
when i smile at you from across the hall
your hand in hers , her hand in yours
you touch her hair as you once did to mine
once... what a funny word, you still do, but how is that so? i am not with you?..am i?
she told you she loved you you smiled and said " i love you more than life"
i said " i love you" you answered with " is that so.." and walked away like like a pull of a trigger
boys and their girls girls and their boys
wasting their time hurting others and being hurt.
lieing to loved ones, being lied to.
it'll never seem clear to someone on the outside looking in.

" i love you i need you, like a thousand times before , wonder why i hate you"

Life as we know it

2006-08-10T11:44:00.000-02:30

Life is like an hour glass
sitting on the dusty shelf.
Boys and Girls, Men and Woman
All alike yet, not two the same
hanging on to what we most desire
loving the ones we love, hating those we hate
our wants our needs and our dreams
influenced by what we see on the small screen, and in magazines.
the world we live in, and what celebrities tell us. can't we be ourselves?
without being told what to wear, how to look
and trying to change who we really are
when it can all be over in a blink of an eye
one pull of a trigger, one swipe with a knife
one too many drinks to the whell, one war between numorous armies. one world.

the world is our worst enemy, not the girl who stole your boyfriend, or the boy who stole your bike when you were 8, or even your mom or dad when they won't let you travel so far for that favorite rock band of yours.
No matter how hard we try, life as we know it, is...life.
A beautiful thinkg
full of laughter, joy, smiles, tears, pain, and hurt
one day we'll be in a better place,
until then, suck it up princess..move on
put that smile back on and when your time comes that big guy will call you home
until then, live life to it's fullest.
you do only get one shot at it.

" i never knew, i never knew that everything was falling through"